The Freedom to Choose.

Rarely do we ever regret choosing to let go. We have all ignored the feeling to let go of things that we had really wanted to work.  Much time and energy go into tweaking circumstances hoping they will bring about the outcome we want. We spend wakeless nights grinding over what next to try, adjusting minor details hoping it aligns with the wishes of the Universe so that it will bring about our desire. Being self-aware and practicing presence keeps us in tune with familiar negative feelings and emotions. The feelings are used as a trigger. "Hold up! I've felt [...]

By | 2017-08-22T07:19:20+00:00 August 11th, 2017|0 Comments

Let It Go

Do you wonder why there are some hurts you just can't get passed? Replaying twenty-year old situations over in your head making yourself crazy? You are looking at memories from the eyes of an older wiser being. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now. Let it go.

By | 2017-08-22T07:22:53+00:00 August 11th, 2017|0 Comments

Stop Hitting Yourself

Have you ever had someone take your hand and then forcefully start beating you in the face with it? It’s a very unnatural and unpleasant feeling, not to mention it really hurts. We’re not meant to hurt ourselves with our own limbs and we’re not meant to hurt ourselves with our own words or thoughts. I worked and lived with a woman who made my life miserable. She showed kindness and compassion to everyone she came across, but she loved to pick on me. Any mistake I made I was told how stupid I was. She knew all my [...]

By | 2017-08-06T08:54:18+00:00 August 6th, 2017|0 Comments

The Art of Forgiving.

Ah forgiveness. So fickle and annoying. It's complex and wirey.  It attaches itself to layers of circumstances each one requiring you to work through it. An apology is secondary to forgiveness. True heartfelt, admittance of guilt, behavior changing apologies are rare. They will still require you to work through the offending action(s) and the offender to forgive themselves. So, any real, half-assed, blanket apology or lack thereof is just fluff. Your only task is to work through it and let go.  Forgiveness is an act done for yourself. A grudge is exhausting to hang onto and is good [...]

By | 2017-07-07T12:57:52+00:00 July 7th, 2017|0 Comments

The Shame Shower

It happened in February of 2014. The shame snuck up on me while I was in the shower. Shame is stealthy and would often blindside me, but not normally in the light of day. You see, shame prefers the quiet dark of 4 am where it has you all to itself. I had been sick with Ulcerative Colitis for a very long time and I was feeling quite exhausted by the pain and loss of blood. Being chronically ill and a perfectionist I believed that I was getting my just desserts by being sick and anytime I felt particularly [...]

By | 2017-08-06T14:46:07+00:00 June 13th, 2017|3 Comments

Meeting Carrie Fisher. My True Mother.

We went to the Vancouver Fan Expo in April of 2015 specifically to meet my idol, Carrie Fisher. I was a very lonely, awkward preteen and spent most of my free time lying in bed daydreaming about having adventures in a galaxy far, far away with my mom, Princess Leia. I had rehearsed for over two decades telling her how much she had meant to me during that time and I continued to rehearse in my head for the three hours I stood in line waiting for her to sign my copy of her book Wishful Drinking. She has [...]

By | 2017-08-07T18:55:45+00:00 May 7th, 2017|0 Comments

The Road Goes Ever On

I will be shutting down Advice Over Pie and focusing solely on Buff Beads and a sister project. The foundation of AOP and the path it has created is beautiful and raw, but it comes from pain. It's roots are deep in suffering. I was sick with Ulcerative Colitis and tortured by my past. I am not that person anymore. Grace warms me and by remaining connected to my source the ego is kept at bay. I am healthy and mentally strong.  Memories of the past that shamed and tortured my mind and sickened my body no longer haunt me. But, [...]

By | 2017-07-07T15:57:07+00:00 April 4th, 2016|0 Comments

The Two Best Words You May Ever Hear.

Me Too. How glorious it is to hear those two words! I started Advice Over Pie because I was feeling incredibly lonely with my experiences. It took awhile. My attempts to make friends and be vulnerable was a little much for some. I don't recommend using "shame" in the same sentence as "nice to meet you." When I found I was scaring people away I began to attempt to warm up to people. This turned into a lot of fitting in and less belonging. I allowed myself to be patient and choosy with whom I told my story. I continued [...]

By | 2017-08-11T11:47:16+00:00 March 11th, 2016|0 Comments

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

Being positive and thinking happy thoughts is challenging. Sometimes it feels easier to just say "Eff it!" and wallow in self pity. But, I have spent time on the negative side of life where everything was heavy and I thought the world was against me, and I have to tell ya, it's better here on the lighter side where sometimes shit happens, but generally life is good. I see challenges and change as the universe moving and shifting me towards my goals and desires. I move with the flow and allow the current to guide me and trust in the [...]

By | 2017-07-27T16:37:46+00:00 November 30th, 2015|0 Comments

An Ode to October.

I awake in the pitch dark and it’s there to greet me. I get a tight coolness in my chest and throat that radiates down to warmth into my chest. A heavy rock in my gut. Warmth spreads outwards across my chest and up to my throat and to my tongue. I feel like it takes effort to get oxygen to my brain, but it’s more effort to try and breathe deep. The feeling comes before any thoughts. And I instinctively search desperately for a reason. Ah, there it is. This morning the anxiety is a reminder of my insolence. [...]

By | 2017-07-25T16:55:05+00:00 October 31st, 2015|0 Comments