My husband and I have gotten into this routine of sitting and watching Ancient Aliens while playing Candy Crush Soda Saga. We sit for the hour scoffing at the theories the experts come up with and create our own. As we do this, I’m mindlessly following the flashing move suggestions on the game, doing the same moves over and over burning through lives. It will take a reload or two before I realize that I’m supposed to be getting the bear across the line not popping bottles.
This is nuts! I can’t believe I’m actually blogging about this. I can’t even take myself serious while I’m talking about bears and aliens. Have you ever read anything that involved both Ancient Aliens and Candy Crush? It’s a ridiculous combo, but nonetheless I have a point.
Every time I catch myself reloading lives like I have an infinite amount I am reminded of how I feel my life was like. I would go through it mindlessly repeating the same situations asking myself “Why does this always happen to me?” I would just assume I was cursed or deserved it and my life would shuffle and I would carry on moving crap around.
I see others doing the same thing. Having the same problems and situations happen repeatedly and just mindlessly accepting the outcome. If every person you date ends up being crazy then perhaps it’s not your date that’s the problem. Have a habit of getting fired? Not every boss can have it out for you. Same arguments arising? Do you not understand why people don’t like you? Are you always losing your phone? Wallet? Kids? Do you repeatedly have accidents in the kitchen?
My dad is a retired drywaller. On the job he often hurt himself and blamed his tools. I remember one time after tripping over a bench he yelled
“My (expletive) tools are trying to kill me! It’s like my own dog biting me.”
Hands up if you think my dad’s inanimate bench was trying to kill him. If you think my dad’s bench was attempting murder then you probably believe that the Nazca lines are giant runways for spaceships. Objects are not serial killers and your dates aren’t crazy. It’s you that’s the problem. YOU are the common denominator of all those things. Ouch right?
NO! Knowing that YOU are the problem means that YOU are in control. And that is fabulous! It means there can be change. So, when you find yourself in an insane loop of misery, let the pain be a cue to focus. Instead of saying “Why does this always happen to me?” say “What can I do to stop this?” Sometime it will take just a wee bit of psychoanalyzing and little adjustments in your life to make a difference. If you can’t figure it out ask someone you trust to candidly tell you why they think you’re experiencing the issues. That honesty within yourself or from others can save your lives and move you onto the next level.
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.