The Road Goes Ever On

I will be shutting down Advice Over Pie and focusing solely on Buff Beads and a sister project. The foundation of AOP and the path it has created is beautiful and raw, but it comes from pain. It's roots are deep in suffering. I was sick with Ulcerative Colitis and tortured by my past. I am not that person anymore. Grace warms me and by remaining connected to my source the ego is kept at bay. I am healthy and mentally strong.  Memories of the past that shamed and tortured my mind and sickened my body no longer haunt me. But, [...]

By | 2017-07-07T15:57:07+00:00 April 4th, 2016|0 Comments

The Two Best Words You May Ever Hear.

Me Too. How glorious it is to hear those two words! I started Advice Over Pie because I was feeling incredibly lonely with my experiences. It took awhile. My attempts to make friends and be vulnerable was a little much for some. I don't recommend using "shame" in the same sentence as "nice to meet you." When I found I was scaring people away I began to attempt to warm up to people. This turned into a lot of fitting in and less belonging. I allowed myself to be patient and choosy with whom I told my story. I continued [...]

By | 2017-08-11T11:47:16+00:00 March 11th, 2016|0 Comments

Don’t Pole Vault Over Mouse Turds.

Don’t pole vault over mouse turds. Just pick it up and throw it away. Yes, it’s gross. Just grab a tissue and pick it up. You don’t need to call your friends over to see it. Why? Oh great, now you are all standing around talking about how revolting it is. That was unnecessary. Do you feel better? You still need to clean it up, does it help having your friends around telling you how gross it is? If they were really your friends they would help you. Yes everyone is leaving. They don’t want to talk about your crap [...]

By | 2017-07-25T17:10:06+00:00 July 8th, 2015|0 Comments

Your Worth.

You are worthy of love and of all good things. Why do I say this? Because you are.  We all are.  Not one more than the other.  We are all the same in our worth. So why do we then think one better than the other?  Because we are told that there is such a measure.  Being better implies that there is someone worse. You could argue morally there are some that are worse than others, but doesn't that just make us better than the actions the supposed worse person is doing? What is worse and what is better is relative. One [...]

By | 2017-08-11T11:47:45+00:00 June 19th, 2015|0 Comments

Me, My Self and My Ego

Everyone needs a hero. I met mine early last year. She has this radiance that is calming. I can see the universal wisdom in her eyes where even my most major circumstances are mere blips in comparison. Yet, she looks at me with such compassion and understanding that I am comforted immediately. She oozes confidence and dances uninhibitedly when she feels joy. She is silly, graceful, protective and loyal.  I want to be her. She is me. She is my Soul. She is my Self. _________________ When I’m with my tribe, ie husband, kids, sisters, brothers, BFF, aunts, cousins…I am [...]

By | 2017-08-11T11:47:57+00:00 May 21st, 2015|0 Comments

How to Control a Crappy Situation

We had a fabulous lesson in tolerance this weekend. Learning how to control our reaction and emotions in uncontrollable circumstances is not easy. But it does get easier when we practice using the formula Event + Reaction = Outcome. We learn that we have control over how we feel and react to negative situations. Knowing that we have three options helps too.  We can change the situation, leave it or accept it.

By | 2017-07-27T17:11:44+00:00 May 19th, 2015|0 Comments

It’s Dangerous to Go Alone. Take These.

As most of you know, Buff Beads are based on the gaming term for the skill used to give yourself power before a battle. Here's a quick little run down: In video games, specifically RPGs or MMOs there is a term we use for the skills that give us an advantage in the game. An extra 10% to health, a bonus 15% to defense, a boost to damage, speed, endurance etc. Some of these little dabs of comfort last until you get hit, some last 30 seconds and some last 60 minutes. Most of them aren't game changing like cheats [...]

By | 2017-08-11T11:48:05+00:00 April 30th, 2015|0 Comments

What Do You Have To Gain?

It's mind blowing to me how I continuously over complicate my life. I've been digging in my psyche for years trying to draw out any piece of evidence that will reveal to me the cure to being afraid of judgment.  I've traced through my childhood with a fine tooth comb, read books, meditated and watched video's searching for something or someone to say it differently than the others so that I could understand. The answer was so simple and I felt so silly. I am constantly being reminded that the best way to find an answer is to quit looking [...]

By | 2017-08-11T11:48:12+00:00 April 1st, 2015|0 Comments

What It Means To Love Yourself.

I love hearing the ways you all use your Buff Beads.  Some people wear them as a tribute to themselves and their self-worth, almost like a symbol of where their allegiance lies. One woman, who is still grieving the loss of her husband 10 years ago, tells me that she holds them in her hands and tells herself out loud "I am so strong!" She used this technique, as well as self-compassion, to quit smoking.  Another lady who had bought Buff Kids for her pre teen daughter told me that her daughter’s feelings had been hurt by a friend and [...]

By | 2017-07-29T07:33:33+00:00 March 19th, 2015|0 Comments

Make A Habit by Vicky Jensen

This weeks guest writer is my very good friend Vicky Jensen. In one year she lost an incredible 100lbs, which she attributes to her hard work and her ability to set and meet her individual goals. You can follow her on twitter @Vickerama We all know that goal setting is good. We have heard it our whole lives.”Set goals!” “Where do you want to be in 5 years?” “What are your goals in life?” The concept isn’t new and it is definitely not unique. Goals keep you focused, they propel you forward, they hold you accountable. We can all agree – goals [...]

By | 2017-07-29T10:02:42+00:00 February 18th, 2015|0 Comments