The Salvaged is my first solo published work is now available on the Kindle app at Amazon. It's just itty bitty at 26 pages, but it is absolutely complete and I am warm and cozy with fulfilled joy.
Eckhart Tolle tells a story in A New Earth about a woman who came to him with a multitude of life's problems and the unhappiness that plagued her. After listing the reasons why she was so unhappy Eckhart asked her if could she be okay with being unhappy? This enraged her. NO of course she's not okay with it. Thus adding another layer of unhappiness. Having Ulcerative Colitis it is a challenge for me (as it is for all suffering from a chronic illness) to not fall into the pit of despair. But, this story illustrated for me the layers [...]
Rarely do we ever regret choosing to let go. We have all ignored the feeling to let go of things that we had really wanted to work. Much time and energy go into tweaking circumstances hoping they will bring about the outcome we want. We spend wakeless nights grinding over what next to try, adjusting minor details hoping it aligns with the wishes of the Universe so that it will bring about our desire. Being self-aware and practicing presence keeps us in tune with familiar negative feelings and emotions. The feelings are used as a trigger. "Hold up! I've felt [...]
Do you wonder why there are some hurts you just can't get passed? Replaying twenty-year old situations over in your head making yourself crazy? You are looking at memories from the eyes of an older wiser being. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you know now. Let it go.
Ah forgiveness. So fickle and annoying. It's complex and wirey. It attaches itself to layers of circumstances each one requiring you to work through it. An apology is secondary to forgiveness. True heartfelt, admittance of guilt, behavior changing apologies are rare. They will still require you to work through the offending action(s) and the offender to forgive themselves. So, any real, half-assed, blanket apology or lack thereof is just fluff. Your only task is to work through it and let go. Forgiveness is an act done for yourself. A grudge is exhausting to hang onto and is good [...]
We went to the Vancouver Fan Expo in April of 2015 specifically to meet my idol, Carrie Fisher. I was a very lonely, awkward preteen and spent most of my free time lying in bed daydreaming about having adventures in a galaxy far, far away with my mom, Princess Leia. I had rehearsed for over two decades telling her how much she had meant to me during that time and I continued to rehearse in my head for the three hours I stood in line waiting for her to sign my copy of her book Wishful Drinking. She has [...]
I awake in the pitch dark and it’s there to greet me. I get a tight coolness in my chest and throat that radiates down to warmth into my chest. A heavy rock in my gut. Warmth spreads outwards across my chest and up to my throat and to my tongue. I feel like it takes effort to get oxygen to my brain, but it’s more effort to try and breathe deep. The feeling comes before any thoughts. And I instinctively search desperately for a reason. Ah, there it is. This morning the anxiety is a reminder of my insolence. [...]
Don’t pole vault over mouse turds. Just pick it up and throw it away. Yes, it’s gross. Just grab a tissue and pick it up. You don’t need to call your friends over to see it. Why? Oh great, now you are all standing around talking about how revolting it is. That was unnecessary. Do you feel better? You still need to clean it up, does it help having your friends around telling you how gross it is? If they were really your friends they would help you. Yes everyone is leaving. They don’t want to talk about your crap [...]
You are worthy of love and of all good things. Why do I say this? Because you are. We all are. Not one more than the other. We are all the same in our worth. So why do we then think one better than the other? Because we are told that there is such a measure. Being better implies that there is someone worse. You could argue morally there are some that are worse than others, but doesn't that just make us better than the actions the supposed worse person is doing? What is worse and what is better is relative. One [...]
Everyone needs a hero. I met mine early last year. She has this radiance that is calming. I can see the universal wisdom in her eyes where even my most major circumstances are mere blips in comparison. Yet, she looks at me with such compassion and understanding that I am comforted immediately. She oozes confidence and dances uninhibitedly when she feels joy. She is silly, graceful, protective and loyal. I want to be her. She is me. She is my Soul. She is my Self. _________________ When I’m with my tribe, ie husband, kids, sisters, brothers, BFF, aunts, cousins…I am [...]