Me, My Self and My Ego

Everyone needs a hero. I met mine early last year. She has this radiance that is calming. I can see the universal wisdom in her eyes where even my most major circumstances are mere blips in comparison. Yet, she looks at me with such compassion and understanding that I am comforted immediately. She oozes confidence and dances uninhibitedly when she feels joy. She is silly, graceful, protective and loyal.  I want to be her. She is me. She is my Soul. She is my Self.

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When I’m with my tribe, ie husband, kids, sisters, brothers, BFF, aunts, cousins…I am confident and fear almost nothing. Knowing that my tribe has my back should I run into trouble, gives me an air of confidence. I want that feeling always. To feel unconditionally loved and supported in a moments notice would revolutionize day to day life. By developing a relationship with my Self I have a built in tribe that I bring with me everywhere. She is the angel on my shoulder. I can feel her with me and I can see her smiling at me with warmth and love.

It takes practice to remember to turn to her because the worldly pain is loud and my ego is even louder. My ego demands attention by sneaking in words to bring me down. She is the devil on my shoulder. Sulking in the corner and plotting ways to take me down. She thrives in conflict and will do all she can to slime her way into my head. During my happiest moments, she is the loudest. Trying to convince me of my lack of worth and why I do not deserve such joy. I can feel my ego coming sometimes and can stop her in her tracks. I am stern and I say No!

“Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth.” (Gandalf)

She glares and slinker’s off. My Self and I give each other a knowing smirk and a mental high five.

Often the pain is loud and sudden and I can’t catch it. I fall into despair, worry, and grief.  After some time I am reminded that I’m not alone.  I turn and there she is smiling at me compassionately, an invisible hand of comfort on my shoulder.  She simply says “You are doing really well.” And I cock my head to the left putting it to hers.

Being told you’re handling your stress well is sometimes all you need to hear.

Creating a mental image of my soul and my ego makes them tangible. It provides a source of the self-bullying and gives me something to stick up to. It allows me to have a visual representation of who I want to be as a person and a source of the self-love and self-compassion. Visualization is a gift and not often used to its full potential. More often than not, it’s because we feel silly. Who do we feel silly in front of? Don’t allow yourself to get sucked into the ways of the ego. Stand steadfast with the knowledge and power you have knowing that you are not alone. There is power in you to change your life. Trust your Self and let go.

 

By | 2017-08-11T11:47:57+00:00 May 21st, 2015|0 Comments

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