It’s mind blowing to me how I continuously over complicate my life. I’ve been digging in my psyche for years trying to draw out any piece of evidence that will reveal to me the cure to being afraid of judgement. I’ve traced through my childhood with a fine tooth comb, read books, meditated and watched video’s searching for something or someone to say it differently than the others so that I could understand. The answer was so simple and I felt so silly. I am constantly being reminded that the best way to find an answer is to quit looking for it. The resolution always comes from within.
Looking back, it’s amazing the opportunities I passed up because I was too scared of what people would think. Recently, while psyching myself up to do some networking I said defiantly, “What do I got to lose?”. I’ve said that to myself numerous times in an attempt to gain courage, but for some reason this time the question didn’t go away.
What DID I have to lose?
For the most part, besides rejection, looking overly ambitious or being told my writing is crap, I really had nothing to lose. I allowed my imagination to create liberties and go wild. I came up with many fabulous and not so fabulous opportunities that could arise only if I put my fear of judgment aside. The painful thought of perhaps missing out on those opportunities greatly outweighed any thought of a briefly bruised ego.
Is it easier for you to gain the loss or to lose the gain?
Generally, the possibility for great things is endless and any fear of loss boils down to being afraid of looking like an ass on the dance floor. Which for many, including me, may be worth the loss that’s why if sometimes the gain doesn’t outweigh the pain of humiliation, that’s okay. Because God knows I still a have a ways to go before you catch me singing karaoke publicly or on stage acting in a play. As my husband says “Baby steps, my darling.”, so I will start by writing scary emails and soul bearing blog posts.