I love hearing the ways you all use your Buff Beads. Some people wear them as a tribute to themselves and their self-worth, almost like a symbol of where their allegiance lies. One woman, who is still grieving the loss of her husband 10 years ago, tells me that she holds them in her hands and tells herself out loud “I am so strong!” She used this technique, as well as self-compassion, to quit smoking. Another lady who had bought Buff Kids for her preteen daughter, told me that her daughter’s feelings had been hurt by a friend and she told herself over and over again “I am not mad, she is still my friend” while playing with the beads one by one. Before she could get through them all she told her mom that it had worked. She was feeling much better. For myself, I had created Buff Beads as a tangible item to play with while I was anxious. It would keep my mind in the present so I could keep an eye on all the nasty things I would say to myself. A year later Buff Yourself means so much more to me than just being aware of and using self-talk. So, what does Buff Yourself mean?
It means to talk to yourself with kindness and compassion.
It means to use your words to build yourself up in times you need strength.
It means to put up a wall of love between you and any confrontation.
It means to love yourself unconditionally.
Blah blah blah right? The word “self-love” draws in ughs, eye rolls and nausea. Which that’s fine, call it what you want, but the importance of practicing self-love has been proven time and time again. So, whether it’s Buff Beads or post-its, get an idea of what it means for you to love yourself and create yourself a reminder.
For me loving myself is…
filling myself with pride for even the smallest, silliest achievements
being aware of stressful circumstances before they happen and using my words to wrap myself in a bubble of peace and joy.
realizing that the mistakes I have made are not who I am now.
comforting myself when I cannot get past those mistakes.
recognizing the days I’m just not feeling it and cutting myself some slack.
knowing how to set boundaries and when to uncomfortably say no instead of feeling resentment later.
saying yes to one glass of wine, but no to two.
spending an extra five dollars on the shirt I really want.
looking into the future and knowing that I’ll be glad I went for that walk after dinner even though I don’t want to in the moment.
admitting to myself all the selfish things I want and believing I am worth every single one of them.
coming out of a mini meltdown showing myself compassion and grace instead of beating myself up for forgetting everything I’ve learned.
believing in my truth no matter how scary things get.
learning to trust myself and my gut and being proud of myself when I do.
being honest with myself. Am I really bothered by that or do I just need a nap?
coming to terms with the truth that I am the only one that can make myself happy. And then doing it.
I would like to hear from you guys. What are ways do you maintain a healthy relationship with yourself? What does Buff Yourself mean to you?